jacintha a.k.a tha

To you

2009-05-07T00:24:00.014+08:00

Here are my personal notes to each of you (from farewell night). Thank you each of you for playing a special part in my life =) Much love, hugs and virtual kisses.

Aaron Lee

I see great potential in you. Don’t be afraid to step out of your comfort zone.

Alice

Glad to have known you

Andrew Yew

Thank you for journeying through the CF with us

Bryan Wong

You are a unique person with a unique mindset of your own. Though you are the most Perasan one on Earth, I’ll always remember you as the one and only BW the Great. Thank you for running this race alongside with me.

Jee Hor

Use the many gifting that God has placed in your life for His glory.

Acao

I’m really glad to see where you are today. Keep hungering for God’s Word.

Lai Hoong

Always remember that what others count as weakness may be strengths in the eyes of God. Thank you for being ever sensitive, ever caring, and ever encouraging.

Wang Ying

It has truly been a great joy serving alongside with you. I hope that I was able to stand with you throughout our term serving together. The deep and heart to heart talk that we have has indeed been enriching to me.

Daniel Lee

The Lord has greater plans for your life. Stay focus. Don't speed on the road.

Danny

Thank you for your friendship to me and your support towards CF.

Elvin Van Schoonbeck

It has been great knowing you. Continue to be an encouragement to others around you.

Gary

Continue supporting CF while you still can

Glen

Proud of you. God is not finish with you.

Grace Lai

Let God be the center of it all.

Joachim

You are better than you think you are.

Jon G

You’ll make a great President. Be a leader by example. Thank you for being my Macha.

Jonathan Yee

Remember, find that passion within you and go all out for it.

Jinnie

Thank you for bringing vibe through your bubbly personality into the CF.

Kenny Yeoh

Thank you for always being there for me even with the many clashed of thoughts that we have.

Jay Sern

Have more faith in yourself, for I have more faith in you.

Jian Wei

Thank you for being supportive and ever willing to help.

Phui Yein

It’s a joy to see you loving and serving Him more each day.

Nath

When waves and storms rise, God is in the boat with you.

Ann Na

Don’t let others determine how much you’re worth. You worth more in the eyes of God

Rachel Loh

I’m passing on the baton to you. Be on guard and be sensitive, always on the look out for others.

Rebecca Kong

Glad to have served together with you.

Samuel

It has been great knowing you. You still owe me supper.

Victor

You have a beautiful heart. Glad to see how being a CG leader has really shape you. Always remember to be an example to the rest.

Sue Jane

I’m proud of you. Thank you for making me feel love by my CG leader even when I only pop by once in a blue moon.

Caryn Liew

You’re a sweet, loving girl. Keep loving and believing in people.

James(Ja-mes)

Continue to be a support to CF.

Jee Hwa

Thank you for being part of the CF.

Kai Wen

Small in size does not make you small in heart. Allow God to enlarge your heart.

Rakesh

Continue to equip others with the Word of God and challenge them to live out authentic faith.

Matthew

Thank you for your support in CF.

David Foo

Thank you for being you.

Ai Mie

There is nothing wrong to question, when you have more questions, you’ll have more answers. Keep digging deeper into His word.

Naveen

Thank you for being part of the CF.

Alvin Lim

Thank you for having an open heart. I appreciate your friendship and your effort in trying to connect and bring people together.

Clarence

Keep the faith. Hoping to see more of your involvement in CF in the coming years.

Keith

Even for a short time, I’m glad to have known you.

Jason Robert

Your laughter is contagious. So keep laughing.

Ashley

Glad to know you. Wish I had more time to get to know you better. Thank you for your constant support towards CF.

Jerry
It's good to have you with us. Though we are different in race, when we really look deep, we are all very much the same. I hope you'll feel at home, love and belong in CF.

Ji Jian
Thank you for your support towards CF. It's good to have a wiser figure among us.

Colin
I think we make you tired. Thank you for being there for us and I hope you will be able to continue to journey with the CF through.

Annette
You are someone I really admire and look up to. You're life has always been an inspiration to me, to challenge me to do more. So I thank you. Thank you for believing in me.

To all the graduates to be
Congrats! I hope you finished your race with no regrets. Thank you. Looking forward to our Langkawi Trip.

...Farewell!
*sobs*

Belaian Jiwa - Innuendo

2009-03-23T03:02:00.007+08:00

I got tag by nikeester. Girls out there this dude is single and available :D ~Weeeee

So here it it :)

Rules:
1. Put your iTunes/Napster/Zune Player/WinAmp/Handphone/etc on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!
4. Tag 10 or more friends who might enjoy doing this as well as the person you got it from.

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
Gotta Get Thru This - Daniel Bedingfield

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Only Hope - Mandy Moore

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Letters to the President - Hawk Nelson *maybe I should write a letter to the Prime Minister =p*

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
One Heart - Celine Dion *to have One Heart like Christ :)*

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
What We Are Made Of - Scott Mallone *imperfect human*

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Our Lives -The Calling

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
Sugar Sugar - The Archies *oh yeah, sugar*

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
I'm Your Angel - Celine Dion and R Kelly *yes i think about this quite often :)*

WHAT IS 2+2?
Comfort Me - Tim McGraw

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
If You're Not The One - Daniel Bedingfield *errrr...*

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Home - Michael Buble *going home to be with you :)*

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Collide - Howie Day *collision with different kinds of people?*

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Who Are They - Tim McGraw

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Home - Chris Daughtry *refer to question and answer in purple above. Coincidence? :p*

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Boom - POD

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Staralfur - Sigur Ros *definitely not this song, it's too boring*

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Be Be Your Love - Rachael Yamagata

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Adam's Song - Blink 182

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
The Power of Dreams - Celine Dion *Everyone have big dreams, and that's a good thing*

WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
A Whole New World - Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson *errr.. perhaps this isn't the worst thing that could ever happen, it might be the best :)*

HOW WILL YOU DIE?
Let The Music Heal Your Soul - All Star *clueless??*

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
Stay - Lisa Loeb *staying?*

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
Stigmatized - The Calling *This song kinda jiwang*

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
BYOB - System Of A Down *ok...yeah technically this song really makes me laugh hahah*

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
Low - Kelly Clarkson *being low/down/emo/whatever*

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
My Valentine - Jim Brickman and Sarah Bright *I guess that's a YES :D*

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
Angels Brought Me Here - Guy Sebastian

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
The Adventure - Angels and Airwaves *perhaps

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
Perfect - Simple Plan *try to be perfect*

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
Insatiable - Darren Hayes *errr..*

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Belaian Jiwa - Innuendo

Added (optional):
What Will End This Post?
Smile - John Pizzarelli *Yeah, SMILE :D*

Tag:
John Lim
Kenny Cornelius
Heidi Tan
Debbie Tan
Stephanie Lim

Baby in the 'making'

2009-01-23T03:32:00.009+08:00

Since I'm like on holiday, while surfing online I found something really cool. It's a Baby Maker Application. It's called the RoutanBabymaker3000 by Volkswagen. This application enables you to make a baby without really 'making' a baby. This allows you to see how your baby will look like in the future. All you need to do is just upload a picture of the 'mum' and 'dad'. Since I have nothing better to do, I decided to try the application.

This is how my future 'baby' would look like with John

First attempt:

This one was really scary. It actually look like William Hung. No way my child is going to look like that..lol

Then I decided to use other pictures of John and I

Second attempt:

This one not bad looking. But look like an 'ang moh' baby. I don't recall us having 'ang moh' blood.. lol

Finally,

Third attempt:

This was the cutest of them all. I so *heart* this baby. Let's just call him Junior for now. At least this one looks chinese. Gilar chun hairstyle also... lol

This is how it will look virtually. It's quite cool actually. The baby's eyes follows your mouse.

When I introduced this application to Kenny Corn, he got a shock when the baby started laughing suddenly as he have turn up his speakers. You know how freaky baby laugh can be at times.

Since I'm too free, I decided to mix and match other 'mom' and 'dad' to see how their baby would look like.. hehe

This is how Glen and Rachel's baby would look like

To bad the baby doesn't have curly hair =p

and this is how Kenny Corn and Victor's baby is going to look like... lol

Do you see any similarity? =p

If you are too free and got nothing better to do like me, go on and start 'making' your own babies =p RoutanBabymaker3000

Peace

2008-11-18T14:40:00.003+08:00

These days I find much peace in prayer.

Such a beautiful video animatics.
"If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. Mark 8:34"

STILL
Hide me now
Under your wings
Cover me
within your mighty hand

When the oceans rise and thunders roar
I will soar with you above the storm
Father you are king over the flood
I will be still and know you are God

Find rest my soul
In Christ alone
Know his power
In quietness and trust

..in You I trust, O Faithful Lord

Reality

2008-11-01T00:12:00.006+08:00

Everyone needs someone to stand with them...

...not just your friends,

not just the broken hearted...

EVERYONE

that includes you.

I feel like God is doing something in my heart, a renovation work perhaps. I've begin to see and experienced the imperfection of man and the issues that a Christian struggle with through my life and the life of others. It is real. Very real indeed. Christians struggle and fight to stay on track in their walk with God. I don't know about you, but I've met some Christians who have ideals of what a Christian should be. Many a times we fail to meet those ideals, and when that happens we feel that we have missed the mark. We are no longer an ideal Christian. We become shameful and carry the guilt that our sins and failures has brought upon us. I think that sometimes we failed to see that we are Christians yet still very much human. Of cos God wants us to be in His likeness, but He knows us so well, He knows that we are made out of dust, we are humans, we fall short of His glory. But He gives us 2nd chances. Noticed i mentioned chances with the 's', that's right. He knows that we need more than one 2nd chance even when we don't even deserve a single 2nd chance. It's only by His grace that we have this privilege and honor, unmerited favor. Grace. Given freely. He accepts us the way we are, just as the very condition that we are in, broken, ugly, unworthy..

It is by His grace that He has accepted us just as we are...
It is by His grace that we can come out of our past, our guilt, our shame, our pain, our ideals of ourself...

Why is it that we have to appear stronger, wiser, more spiritual, ideal when we are not? As a real fact we are all broken people. We are in need of people to stand with us. Not people who will pass judgment on us just because we have missed the mark of an ideal Christian. We faced real life issues, we face temptations, we struggle and sometimes we failed. That is the reality. There is beauty in imperfection. It shows that we are in need of a Perfect God. A Perfect God who could accept such imperfection.

Real. Very real indeed. The Christian life is a journey and it is a struggle. The older I get, the harder I find it to journey in this walk. The reality of life, the world, the people. Reality do bites. And the more you step into reality, the more you will see how imperfect Christians really are. They need real people who are willing to stand with them and journey with them. In my imperfection, I've learned not to set ideals of what one should be but choose to believe that we are all imperfect people, struggling and trying to stay on track on our wonderful journey with our Savior and Friend.

His love and grace has accepted our imperfections...
It's time to come out of our past, our guilt, our pain, our shame, our failures

I want to stand with you...

Come back

2008-10-14T15:54:00.002+08:00

It has been almost 5 months since I've pen down anything on this blog of mine. Guess my internship has taken quite a lot of my time and my 56k modem just won't do me justice. Thus, I became lazier and lazier, which led to the destruction of this blog.. haha. However, I'm about to revived it. But then I've decided to do a quiet come back for now. Think I can make use of this little space to pen down more personal thoughts of mine. And for those who actually cared or 'kepo' enough about my life would some how fumble back into this little space of mine. So yea, we shall see.

By the way I've gotten my streamyx. So guess it's gonna be a good new start.. *wink*

CF Farewell 2008

2008-05-16T16:20:00.008+08:00

So soon, another academic year is about to come to an end. I should get use to farewells like these by now since I've been through it twice before. Yet, I know I'm going to miss miss miss them.

We had our last CF for this academic year two weeks ago. It was real memorable I would say. Somehow I find this year's farewell night, celebration, party, whatever you call it a lil different from the usual years. Maybe it's because I was in charge of handling the whole program flow of the night together with Guru G. Here are some things that happened on that day.

First we had the yet to grad seniors take charge of the praise and worship. You wanna know a Secret? Zefi can sing...hahaha.. He actually back up sing for the very first time. 3 Yays for Zefi!

After that we had performances first by the juniors then by the yet to grad people. First up was Victor Key a.k.a Turkey's performance with Jee Hor as his guitarist. He made his own remix of the song Time of Your Life by Greenday. A really good job in coming out with the lyrics.

Next we had something different this time round. We had a puppet show specially for the seniors. Laura was in charge of this puppet show and she did a fantastic job. And the puppet characters are none other than the graduation people. I guess they really enjoyed watching what kind of impression we have of them. Like for Zefi they use a Doraemon to represent him because the bag that he usually carries around have most of the things that you need in it, just like doraemon's pouch. Lenard's puppet was associated with his favorite lingo ~FOO. Celine was portrayed as the sleeping queen and John was portrayed as a guy who chases after younger girls or new alphas. Dwong is remembered as the guy who likes to eat bones and Audrey, oh Audrey, no one will ever forget her magic tricks, with her pro magician look on her face.. =P

*Just want to say a BIG BIG thank you to Victor and Laura for coming up with the performances. Thumbs up to both of your performances.. =)*

Next up is the yet to grad turn to perform. They did a very special performance, I don't really know how to explain what is it.. ha ha. They were acting out and holding words to represent lyrics to a few songs . It was a rather creative idea. After their performance, Lenard gave a solo performance.

After we are done and over with all the presentations, now it was time to appreciate the seniors for being part and supporting the CF. A video presentation to appreciate them was done by Jeremy and SueJane. You can view the video below.

*Thank you so much Jeremy and Sue Jane. A really good job from the both of you too..wink*

After the video presentation, we went on to appreciate them even more. The juniors gave them a little handmade gift. It was a bottle which contains different color of melted candle wax in it. On top of each bottle their name was written on it with a glow in the dark pen. The bottle was stuck onto a board which has a message at the back of it.

Pictures of the gift =)

*Thank you so much Glen for your help. It was fun putting this together with you..lol. Sorry for the mess I made at your place*

The appreciation did not stop there. After giving each of them a gift, the rest of the CF-ers were ask to come in front to say a word of appreciation to each of the graduating seniors. Of cause the objective of this is to make the seniors cry....muahahaha.... The real objective behind this act is because many a times we take for granted the need to appreciate and encourage these people who have supported us and become part of us. Therefore, we don't want each of them to miss this opportunity to appreciate the seniors for what they have done and what they meant to us.

Kevin Koay was also leaving us. No he is not graduating. But he will be leaving MMU to pursue a new career in UTAR. Therefore, we appreciated him as well and gave him a farewell gift. Of cos there were crying.. and more crying...

but...

goodbyes have to be said... :(

After all the crying session was over, it was photo session. Random pictures for your pleasure below.. =)

Enjoy the moment while you can..

Say all your thank you's while you can...

The people that are leaving us.. :(

To the graduating seniors:
I wish you all the best for your future. Thank you for being a part of us and investing your life in us. It has truly been a great joy knowing each of you. Thank you for accepting me into this CF and loving me for the person that I am. They always say goodbyes are not the end, so let us not let it be the end of great friendships. Take good care where ever you may go. God, the Author and Finisher holds your future. Thank you for running this race and finishing it well. I applaud you for all that you are and all that you have done. Will miss each of you so much. sobs.. :(
Come back and visit us k..

To Kevin Koay:
Thank you for putting up with us all these years. I'm sure we contributed in some ways to your lost of hair. I thank you and respect you for the person that you are and thank you for loving and believing in us. Take care.

Farewell......

Wedding post

2008-04-21T01:03:00.011+08:00

Here's a post about a wedding that I've attended. It was my sister's husband's sister's wedding. How complicated can that sound.. haha.. Well, here it goes..

2 March 2008

Emily weds Paul

The beautiful wedding was held at DUMC Dream Center. This was the first wedding ever that I've attended that sets a dress code. The dress code for their guests was white, beige or creme and the bride and groom immediate family are suppose to wear red. The deco that went with the couple's wedding theme was excellent.

Nice... :)

Anyway, this was a rather interesting wedding. Firstly the bride is a Chinese marrying a Chindian. Therefore, they decided to have a Christian traditional kind of wedding. The bride wore an Indian wedding dress. It was rather unique and different. The bride's mum and sister came in a Sari. Now how cool is that.. haha..

Scene from Bollywood-A very Hindustan picture

The second thing that made this wedding rather unique is it was an evangelistic wedding. Can you imagine that? The groom actually worship lead for his wedding and his bride co worship lead while the best man and the maid of honor were support singers. Unbelievable right. Then their church Pastor was giving out an evangelistic message. It was so interesting how the Pastor connected the wedding and evangelism together. He was talking about why they decided to do all this on their wedding day is because it is their passion, God is their passion and they would like to share it with each of their guest. Now that is maximum coolness.

The bride's immediate family. The one in pink is my sister.. :)

The third thing about this wedding is their wedding guests consisted of rather interesting people. First there was the best man. Take a guess who he was? Ha ha..

I shall reveal his identity..

Ta dah....

Patrick Leong.. the well known Christian singer from Malaysia. And I got to hear him sing live again.. :)

Next unexpected guest on the list...

Ta dah....

My lecturer.. >.<
I guess he was as surprised as I was to see me there

The third guest at the wedding... sigh.. too bad I didn't notice him at the wedding. Only after looking at the wedding pictures that I realized he was there. >.<

Third guest...

Tadah...

Loopy meals was there too. I recognized his cute son from his blog

Okay that's all for the unexpected wedding guests

This is my blog. So I guess I deserve to put a picture of myself on that night.. haha

Tadah...

*shiok sendiri*

If you're wondering why I'm not in red, beige, creme or white that's because I'm special.. =p Nolar it's because extended families get to wear anything that they like so that people can identify who are family.. *wink*

Finally...

Congrats to the lovely couple. May God continuously shower His blessings upon your marriage =)

* Credit- Photos taken from Atelier Ventures*

Somewhere, Anywhere

2008-03-17T23:19:00.005+08:00

Still looking for a place to do to my internship .. sigh.. where to find somewhere easily accessible from Klang or from Cyber? Send out so many enquiries and resume to various company but no reply. Disappointed..? yea :( Somehow I am stress out.

So far I have one offer from Q-dees. Yea the Montessori, somewhere I would like to do my internship. Only problem is it's in Damansara. It wouldn't be a problem if my driving skill was an A+ but unfortunately this car phobia thingy ain't getting me anywhere. Hoping for other advertising company to reply me such as Akitiara. Really want to get done with this so that I can decide where I will be living next semester.

My roomie is moving out.. sob sob.. Things are going to change, that's for sure.. sigh..
Everything is in the grey
Trusting God
Pray with me, for me
Thank you

With much love,
Jacintha

p/s- Updated briefly for now. That's all a 56k modem could do. Stay tune, hopefully soon

Nick Pitera

2008-03-05T21:34:00.003+08:00

My roomie Heidi send me this video. Super, duper chun-ted. You have to see this. May i introduced to you Nick Pitera.

Mien he sounds so much like Ariel from The Little Mermaid. It would make more sense to me if someone can impersonate people's voices. But sing... how could someone sing so well in the right pitch and tone, yet still able to impersonate so many other people? *speechless*

After looking at the video, I went on to look up for more videos of him. So if you're still not impressed, check out the video below.. =p

Guy and girl's voice. Someone actually told me he sounded better in his girl voice... hahaha..

He even do Alicia Key's. Check out his style. Almost exactly like Alicia.

Still not impressed? Why don't you do a comparison with the two video below. One was sung by the original singer, Celine Dion and another Nick Pitera. Check out the imitation style. Coolness.. =)

Love in Action

2008-03-01T17:46:00.007+08:00

You can play a part in putting Love in Action *click*

Sponsorship for the event
Donation for the event
Old clothes
2nd hand items
Recycle items
Manpower
Prayer

Yes, we need your help,
Your contribution will go to beneficiaries,
SPCA, CREST, Beautiful Gates, House of Joy, Disable homes, United Voice

Every cent counts
You can make a difference
Thank you

p/s: For more info, e-mail me : jacinthaloke@yahoo.com or leave me a comment here.

What matters

2008-02-15T22:44:00.004+08:00

It has been quite awhile since i last updated my blog. Guess I'm just being plain lazy to blog.. =p

Anyway, my family and i celebrated my sister's 24th birthday with her. Although she's married and all, it is still very much family tradition to celebrate each other's birthday.. =) Her birthday falls on Chinese New Year's Eve. Therefore, we decided to celebrate it earlier. The weekend before her birthday we went to these Japanese restaurant in Subang to celebrate her birthday. I don't remember the name of the Japanese restaurant though.

My parents and I

The birthday girl. We don't look alike, do we?

Then after dinner we headed back home. That day I made chocolate brownies for the very first time. Thank God it turn out alright. I have so many past not so nice baking experience before. Therefore, I'm pretty glad of the outcome of the chocolate brownie. And since we were celebrating my sister's birthday, I decided to cut a slice for her, pour extra melted chocolate on it and light a candle above it. I felt very pleased with myself..=p

The chocolate brownie with melted chocolate....*drools*

Birthday girl with her slice of heaven

Finally, the best part about birthdays are the present. Since I'm the only one still not working in the family, nowadays I hardly pay for gifts for my family. However, this year I decided to get her a birthday present. No, two present to be exact. So tadah... Here is what I got her...

P.S I Love You

A book entitle P.S. I love you by Cecelia Ahern. There's a movie based on this book and from what I heard the story is excellent, very heart warming. However, I came to know that the movie is not going to be release in Malaysia... sigh.. Anyhow, here is the trailer for the movie for your viewing pleasure.. *wink*

Other than the book, I found this really, really and I mean really, really adorable baby mitten and bootee set. And so I couldn't resist and bought it to add to the present. It says 'I love daddy' and 'I love mummy' on it. I would want one of those for my kid next time. Hmmm.. maybe I should have bought one extra beforehand.. darn.. =p

The cutest little thing

And if you're wondering... yea you got it right. They are expecting their first child. Which means, I'm going to be an aunty.... darn... I mean darn in a good way. Now I definitely am old... haha. But I can't wait for this bundle of joy to arrive. Hopefully it's going to be a bundle of joy and not a bundle of headaches... haha..

Ok that's it for now..
Signing off once again..

You

2007-12-06T14:11:00.000+08:00

Looking towards Abba in Heaven

Woke up today to the sound of raindrops falling incessantly and a deep sense of gloominess
Reach out Your hands for me and embrace me with Your loving arms
Just as I am, broken and unworthy I come
To the God I love, You are God

Somehow once again I'm reminded of this song.

ONLY IN THE DARK by Juwita Suwito

The raindrops fall incessantly
Each I think the sky's letting up
There seems to be another cloud
Bringing the dark
Coming right at me

So often I can't see the road ahead
The blinding headlights loom then go out again
But suddenly I find that I don't need to strife
'Cause I realize I am rising, I'm flying and....

CHORUS
Only in the dark when I can't seem to see
I learn to hear Your whisper that's been guiding me
Reach out for the hand that bears the light
So my step is right
Only in the dark

Now each day's a step that's lighted up
And the questions asked won't make me stop
'Cause I know no matter how I feel
That this is real
And I'm slowly getting to a place where it's not...

BRIDGE
So let the shadows come
And let me run into Your arms where
I can feel the warmth of Your touch - unmistakable
Leading me on, loving me on, turning me on
Though now it seems to be that...

Baby steps

2007-11-27T00:29:00.000+08:00

I first heard this song when I was involved with my CF easter play. Simply lovely.. =)
Tomorrow will be a better day if we let God be the center of our everyday.

TOMORROW by Avril Lavigne

And I wanna believe you,
When you tell me that it'll be ok,
yeah I try to believe you,
But I don't

When you say that it's gonna be,
It always turns out to be a different way,
I try to believe you,
Not today, today, today, today, today...

[Chorus:]

I don't know how I'll feel,
tomorrow, tomorrow
I don't know what to say,
tomorrow, tomorrow,
yeah, it's a different day,
tomorrow,

It's always been up to you,
It's turning around,
It's up to me,
I'm gonna do what I have to do,
just don't

Give me a little time,
Leave me alone a little while,
Maybe it's not too late,
not today, today, today, today, today...

[Chorus:]

I don't know how I'll feel,
tomorrow, tomorrow
I don't know what to say,
tomorrow, tomorrow,tomorrow
its a different day

Hey yeah yeah, hey yeah yeah, and I know I'm not ready,
Hey yeah yeah, hey yeah yeah, maybe tomorrow

Hey yeah yeah, hey yeah yeah, I'm not ready,
Hey yeah yeah, hey yeah yeah, maybe tomorrow

And I wanna believe you,
When you tell me that it'll be ok,
Yeah I try to believe you,
Not today, today, today, today, today
Tomorrow it may change
Tomorrow it may change
Tomorrow it may change

Simply me

2007-11-09T03:35:00.000+08:00

yea.. do just that...

...will you?

I wonder...

2007-10-22T23:27:00.006+08:00

Have you ever been in a position where you feel like you don't have the right to demand?

Have you ever feel like you're left with no choice but one?

Have you ever wonder how on earth did you get yourself entangle in such mess?

Have you ever thought of numbing yourself from your emotions?

Have you ever love and hate at the same time?

Have you ever got wounded and all bruise up?

Have you ever wonder if you're good enough?

Have you ever wish that things should go the way you want it to be?

Have you ever find yourself paying for the consequences?

Have you ever feel like things are too good to be true?

Have you ever hold on to the past that is gripping on to you?

Have you ever gaze into the future to find a vague future?

Have you ever?

.....I have

Holy Matrimony

2007-10-22T23:25:00.000+08:00

Next event on the list :

8th September 2007

Finally, the day have arrived. Yea, and it arrived way sooner than I expected. I guess I'll let the pictures do the talking.. =)

The morning of my sister's wedding, I went to get my hair and make up done for the very first time. It was a pretty cool experience and I have a good reason on spending such a great amount of money to make myself look pretty. Around noon, my sister got ready, waiting for her prince to come and sweep her off her feet.

The groom arrived in the afternoon. And I had the opportunity of coming out with stupid challenges to interrogate the groom and his 'heng tai' before he can rescue his bride. However, the challenges didn't really turn out that fun as the 'heng tai' were not sporting enough. So it kinda 'potong stim' a bit. Anyhow, we decided to be kind to them and let them enter.

Some snap shots before heading to the church...

And so we head to St Peter's Church. The church that they have chosen to have their wedding is a very beautiful church. As you enter the church, it literally reminds you of those catholic churches where you see on Hong Kong TVB series. Really, really beautiful with an aisle and pews. The talented Euywein played the keyboard for their wedding. He plays so so well, I jealous.. I'm not even quarter as good.

The wedding ceremony begins. I know that it was really hard for my father to give his daughter away. You know once a daddy's girl, always a daddy's girl. But I guess, he really learned to accept change that are bound to happen. I wonder what will happen when it's my turn to wed...=p

There was crying involve halfway through the wedding ceremony. It was just the sweetest moment. I don't think it was tears of joy but instead tears of gratefulness. The bride and groom gave a speech thanking their parents for all that they have done. And that was when, the tears start pouring. Being the emotional person that I am when it comes to my family, I find myself in teary eyes. But I was trying hard not to run tears as it would ruin my so expensive make up.. =p

The groom actually sang a chinese love song to the bride. He sang the song 'Forever Love'. At the end of the ceremony, the usual wedding photos were taken.. =)

Right after the church ceremony we headed to Tai Thong restaurant for the wedding dinner. Yea, they wanted to finish everything in one day. So both sides had their wedding dinner at the same time right after the church ceremony.

It was really sweet. The groom sang 'You are so beautiful to me' to the bride.

And finally... ahem... ahem.. I think I deserve to flaunt myself a bit after spending that amount of money on my make up and hair do and not forgetting the dress. So, yea.. pictures of me 'tumpang-ing' glamour during the wedding... ~Weeeeeeeee.....

It has been almost 2 months since they got married. Some of you close enough to me might know of the struggles that I have been going through in the relationship with my sister. With so much that has happen in the past, I can finally say that right now things have been better. I feel much better already. I guess, she moving into the next phase of her life has helped me to let go of the phase that I was holding on to. And now, I am finally able to release all those hurts. I did not lose a sister. I gain a brother. Things have never been better.. =)

Old news

2007-10-22T00:56:00.000+08:00

Just want to apologize for not updating my blog in a very very long time. You are about to see a gazillion pictures... Oklar not that many but still many. So yea be prepared... don't say I didn't warn you... *wink*

First event on the list:

14 August 2007

My 20th Birthday. Yea I'm old.. sobs.. 2 decades edi... sigh.. Anyhow my birthday celebration was awesome. Thanks to some really special friends.

My homies celebrated my birthday two days earlier. My darling Heidi made me a birthday cake. And guess what, the cake icings and decorations are made out of mush mallows. Not only that, it's blue in color and it has blue butterflies and roses on it... all the things I like.. =)
First time ever, someone bake me a cake for my birthday and she actually spend 3 days making it... =) I was so reluctant to cut the cake.
*I really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really love it. Thanks a lot Heidi.. muaks*

My homies (Heidi, John and Gary) bought be a really cute dog soft toy as a birthday present. It's fur is super soft. But I guess Gary love the dog more than I do.. haha.. =p.. That explains why he likes to come into our room and steal the dog.

The next day some of my friends brought me to Wong Kok Char Chan Teng to celebrate my birthday earlier. Yea, and the restaurant gives out a big cup of drink for the birthday people. My friends managed to persuade the shop people to give me the drink even though my birthday was only the next day. So yea.. WOOHOO... we got ourself a really big cup of teh ais.. yea teh ais..=p

*Thanks for dinner John, Heidi, Gary, Jason and Kenny... wink*

The celebration did not stop there. Past twelve midnight one whole group of CFers intruded my house. I was thinking about the possibility of being birthday bash, but they celebrated it with a birthday cake instead... sweet.. =) I didn't expect to see so many of them, including some of the graduated seniors.. double sweetness.

Guess what, the celebration still did not end there. Some of them were unsatisfied that I didn't get bash. So they decided to bash me up in the toilet. Basically, I guess you should be able to guess what happen. Yea, they showered me.. with my clothes on of cause.. =p They couldn't resist watching me get bash alone. Therefore, in the end they decided to bash each other up as well. So yea, most of us were soak.

Finally, what's a celebration without balloons... WOOHOO... Yup, Kenny did some balloon sculpturing for us girls.
Birthday girl... Happieeeeeeee......... =)

It really was an awesome birthday. Three days of celebration, not bad huh? Thanks guys for making my special day so special.

Next on the list:

18th August 2007

Went down to Malacca to celebrate CF 10th anniversary. Can you believe it, my CF is actually 10 years old already. That's a great achievement for a CF. Heidi, John and I bunked at Gary's place in Malacca. It has been a while I've been thinking of painting my nails black. Therefore, I decided to paint it black and attend the anniversary with gothic nails. And guess what, two sampat guys decided to play along... haha.. Yup Heidi helped painted our nails. So yea, Gary, Kenny and I went with black nails.. =p

A lot more pictures ahead...

The usual housemates picture is a must

When we were in Malacca we went to this shop that serves the nicest cake I've ever tasted. But I don't remember the name of the shop. Mille crepe cake... good stuff. The cake is made out of layers of pancake. So so good. It's a must eat whenever I go down to Malacca.

The trip down to Malacca was great. I can't remember how many times I went down to Malacca this year already. Nice place to be.
Ze land of the food....=p

More pictures coming up... =p

Reality

2007-08-26T00:51:00.000+08:00

How do you draw the line between love and lust?

interesting picture...haha

Roadtrip

2007-07-28T00:33:00.000+08:00

My youth had a poolside party 2 weeks ago. It was really, really nice to see so many young, new faces there. I felt kinda old at the party. Guess it's about time for me to move on to the next phase in life...marriage life.. haha.. of cos not, how I wish. Didn't really participated much in the party other then being their emcee and their self appointed photographer. There are reasons why I didn't really participated in the party. Firstly, I hurt my finger, yea for those who don't already know, I cut my finger, my thumb to be exact. It was a suicidal attempt, I was trying to do a trial run and see how much blood will actually ooze out if I cut my finger before I actually slit my wrist....
I bet none of you believed what I just said.. la dee dum.. Well what really happen is I was rushing to finish my assignment and when I was cutting a paper, the blade slipped the ruler, then the tragedy happen. I was late for my submission already, what a great time to cut my finger right. Blood started oozing out, a lot, then, Heidi and John came to my rescue. *thank you guys* I'll probably bleed to death if not for them..=p.. Of cos not forgetting Zefi who gave a really good medication that helped my wound heal very quickly. Frankly speaking, I have not bleed that much in a long time. No pictures of the wound to show though. I just couldn't bother to take picture of it. After all, it's an ugly sight, you don't want to see it. So now my thumb is scared. No guy is gonna want to hold my hand... =(
Oh ya back to the poolside party, yea, because of my wounded thumb, I was afraid to participate with all the games and all so I decided to help them to take pictures instead. Just trying to make myself useful..haha..
The second reason why I did not really participated is because I felt old.. =( I can't believe I'm saying this. Zefi is so going to call me a hypocrite. But can't blame me lar rite, cos I was in a company of high school students, obviously I'm like the 'aunty' there. Anyway, some pictures from the poolside party.

Then Sunday Midnight, some of Gary's course mates and CF people bashed him because it was his birthday. He was bashed with eggs, colgate, chili source, 3 in 1 nestum and milo and don't know what other ingredients. Overall, it was badlar. Well, I guess that is what you'll get for bashing other people up during their birthdays.. they'll take revenge...hahaha..

It was also the birthday of my CG member, Kenny. But he managed to escape being bash this time round all thanks to his *ahem* kind and compassionate *ahem* CG leader..=p

After every bashing, we celebrate...

The girls all look cute in the picture with all those cute poses, while the guys were...emm... trying their very best to look cute? =p

The housemates that I love.. :)

So how did us housemates celebrated Gary's birthday? Well, we were like asking Gary where he would like to go for dinner to celebrate. Randomly he said let's go Malacca. Gary wanted to go back to Malacca because his parents forgot about his birthday and so he wanted to go home and ~~make them feel guilty~~ surprise them. And guess what, we said 'ok,let's go'. So we went on our one day road trip to a small town called Malacca. We arrived in Malacca quite late as we could only leave Cyber after we were done with our CF worship practice. So we reached Malacca about 10p.m. First stop, Gary's house. Then we went for Satay Celup and finally for duck mee and dessert. I managed to get Cendol but it wasn't as nice as I expected it to be. What a let down. Anyway, we left Malacca about 12 something feeling full and satisfied.. :) Before we left, Gary needed to pump petrol. To kill time while waiting, we did what we know best- camwhoring...haha

After pumping gas and all, we decided to head home to Cyber. On the way back, we did more camwhoring at most of the traffic lights as it so happen to be red light at most time.

Before I sign off, some random pictures..

May I present you my roomie, the camowhore-Queen

Us again.. *all smiles*
It was most definitely a great trip. Real short but fun.. :)

You

2007-07-22T02:02:00.000+08:00

Dear you...

5 years of friendship...

We laughed...
We cried...
We learned...
We grew...

Close friends we were...
Once upon a time before...

Changes...
That was what came between us...

We drifted...
And drifted...

Changes...
It built walls between our friendship...

If I could turn back time...
I would learn to appreciate you more...

If I could turn back time...
I would not let our friendship slip away...

If I could turn back time...
I would try harder to be there...

If I could turn back time...
Only if I could...

I'm sorry that things had to be this way...
I wish I could make it up to you...

I hope...
This distance of space that came between us...
Will not pull our friendship even further...

I will always remember you as the guy who :
A- accepts me for who I am
B- believed in me when no one did
C- cares and stands by me no matter what

*take good care of yourself while you're there k. will most definitely miss you*

sincerely,
tha

very random

2007-07-18T19:20:00.001+08:00

I thought I was the ultimate fickle person

till I came across people who can be more fickle than me

title-less

2007-07-17T11:19:00.001+08:00

relationships changes

...family...friends...

don't expect them to remain the same

Amazed

2007-06-26T00:59:00.000+08:00

For the very first time

I did something I never expected I would do

Some of you might know what it is

Some of you might not

It doesn't matter

What matters is

I know God was with me through it all

He amazes me

As I look back

The more I see

He amazes me

I didn't asked for any

But He gave me the best

He amazes me

I'm blessed.. =)

*Thank you people who have been praying and supporting me (you know who you are). Your kind words of encouragement really lifted my spirit. Above all, to God be the Glory..=)*

Stepping into new ground

IF Camp

2007-06-18T15:20:00.000+08:00

Finally... the long awaited IF Camp pictures

But... before that...

Some very special people came to pay us a visit before camp.. =)

Ta-dah!

Alright, let's not waste time for grandmother stories and jump to the camp pictures...Weeeee~

I guess I'm the smallest camp commander that they ever had for IF Camp

A BIG thank you to my other co camp commander, Joel Lim. Of cos not forgetting my committee members, both from Cyber and Malacca.
*Thank you for journeying this journey with me. It has been a great experience learning and growing together*

I thank God for good housemates who never cease to help me along the way.
*Gary, thank you so much for helping me with the accounts. Now I know that I'm bad at counting.. =P*
* Heidi, thank you for just being there*
*John, the little or big things that you do matters to me, and I appreciate it*
*Jia Wern, I know we're really going to miss you when you really leave Cyber. Hope our time left will be well spend.. =)*

That's it for camp..

Don't want to say much..

~Signing off

-tha-

It has been a while

2007-06-05T18:34:00.000+08:00

Yup, my title says it all. It really has been a while since I last updated. Too many things have been happening this past two months. Finally, I'm done and over with my BETA third semester, which is said to be the killer semester for my whole course. I am super duper glad that I've made it through. Once again, I know by the grace of God that sustained me and of cos He brought friends to keep me sane.

A little updates on what have been happening this past 2 months, first I went for ISS Night. Guess I could consider this as my first prom ever as my school did not organized any prom back in my high school days. Overall, I would say it was a good event. There's free flow of food which made the guys super duper happy. Other than that, one of the main purpose of going for prom is to look good and take lots and lots of photos, which is exactly what I did. ..=P I shall let the photos speak for itself.

Pictures of me after getting all dress up with full make up on. I personally liked the red carpet picture, with my beauty queen wave.. *sampat*

The guys and the girls

Next on the Event list, my dad's 55th birthday celebration. As it's his 55th, we decided to do it big this time round. Furthermore, is going to be the year that he retires. He decided to make it so big that most of my church members were invited. And guess who else was invited? My four housemates. I totally didn't see that coming.

Papa and Mummy dearest

They danced... :)

My parent's 'kaki's. These are only part of the guest.

The birthday cake that I bought

Something I made for my Pa so that guest can pen down their wishes. Both my parents didn't managed to make it to university. During my sister's graduation, they tried on the robe and took pictures. So, I decided to place this sentimental picture at the front cover.. :)

The usual family picture plus an additional new member to the family.. :)

The unexpected guests

John dissecting a chicken wing using his canggih tool

What's a party without camwhoring.. =P

Next event on the list, IF Camp.. stay tune..*wink*

Masterpiece

2007-04-20T17:10:00.000+08:00

The ones closest to me are the ones who hurt me
Why do things around me make me feel second best?
My lecturers makes me feel second best
My friends makes me feel second best
My circumstances makes me feel second best
Why must people be so insensitive?
All that they do and say makes me believe even more that I'm just second best
Why have I come to this point where I've let others determine my worth?
I'm starting to no longer feel belong
Those lonely moments, what's new about that
It has been that way at the most phase of my life
Often at my lowest point
If I could tell my life story
There would be much tears that would come with it
But would my friends know?
Would they even care to know?
Would they even care to understand?
I guess not
I use to be strong, but now I feel defeated
Why can't I allow God to pull me through those lonely moments like before?
I know Your grace is sufficient to pulled me through
Even as I looked back, I don't really know how I did it
And I know for sure that that is a lifesong I could sing
Yet, so much have been thrown at me
That I find myself drawing away from You
I hate where I am right now
I find myself indulging in self pity
What have I become?
How can friends be so close yet so far?

...the feeling of belonging yet not belonging...

Now that I see things clearer than before
I've made the decision to help people find self worth
Not in the eyes of man but in the Eyes of the One who sees the art in us
The same One who has written this lifesong of mine
The same One who has given me my worth
I'm looking forward to brighter days
When I can finally overcome myself
And help others overcome it
Till then, I'll climb the ladder once again
To where I left off
Though I may bruise and scar along the way
I want to climb back up
And I will make it
I know I WILL

...the feeling of belonging yet not belonging...

~Jesus be my reason to live each and everyday~

Random-ness

2007-04-05T21:00:00.000+08:00

Since I have not been updating much (very the extremely busy lar), here are just some random pictures.. =p

On event matters...

CNY came and go... so quickly

Lo Sang...the real thing

the healthy version of the real thing
Ingredients : Carrot, Vege, Chicken, Mushroom and some other healthy stuff

On family matters...

My cutie nephew and cousin sister... what a generation gap

The beautiful family that I'm thankful for... daily

On artistic matter...

Noticed that the flower petals are all different in colour... children are the most creative people that I've known thus far.. :)

On friendship matter...

True friends sticks together.. is UHU strong enough?

On sampatness matter...

Me...

Time-out!

2007-03-29T17:22:00.000+08:00

busy, busy, busy, when will all this end.... sigh =(

Mummy dearest

2007-02-12T00:39:00.000+08:00

I didn't know I can be such a mama. Must be taking after my dearest Mama Liew. Yesterday was my youth Valentine's fund raising project. We organized a fund raising Valentine dinner for our church couples. Two other youth and I were in charge of babysitting (unfortunately) their kids. So all together we had 3 kids, ranging from the age of 2 to 5 years old. ( Thank God it's only 3). The reason why we had this babysitting service is so that the couple could enjoy a meal together just like the good old days before the kids came. Well, i find it really strange that for my size they did not bully me where else these two other people babysitting with me who are much taller and bigger than I am got bullied like nobody's business. The way I talk with the kids, play with the kids, persuade the kids to stop crying, mien... I feel such a mama.... Even I get scared of myself... So young yet so mama.. Anyhow, I had a superb time with the kids. So much laughter... only kids have that magical gift to bring laughter for no good reasons.. Plus we managed to do 2 craft work. A bunny and a butterfly, something that the kids could take home with them. (I hope their parents are pleased). I'm starting to grow to believe that kids are the most creative people in the world... =)

Just a tip:
Balloons are good tool to distract a kid. They'll come in real handy to keep the kids occupied and distracted. Next time, we shall just use the easy way out. Liquor it is...=P

P/s- JC Extremers, you guys did a fantastic job. Thank you for being a living testimony. I'm proud of you guys...*hugs*

Untitled

2007-01-23T00:21:00.000+08:00

...the feeling of belonging yet not belonging...

changes are windows to new possibilities...

i really want to believe it is so

Droplets

2007-01-22T23:51:00.000+08:00

The tears are falling again

Will the rain ever stop pouring?

Praise You in This Storm
by Casting Crown

I was sure by now
God You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
And stepped in and saved the day
Once again, I say Amen, and it is still raining

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
I'm with You
As Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

I'll Praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will Praise You in this storm

I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry
You raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can't find You

I lift my eyes into the hills
Where does my help come from
My help comes from the Lord
The maker of heaven and earth

closure

2007-01-04T22:56:00.000+08:00

...Good times Bad times...
...Encouragement Discouragement...
...Passionate Burn...
...Hopeful Doubtful...
...Laughters Tears...
...Joy Pain...
...Building Breaking...
...Proud Disappointed...
...Strong Weak...
...Climb Fall...
...Support Alone...
...Courage Fear...
...Miracle Questions...
...Success Failures...
...Faith Faithless...
...Beautiful Ugly...

These are moments I have encountered in the process of being where I am today. I've finally let go of this precious baby that I have been caring for for the past 3 years. It has been hard, still is but it is something that must happen, it is bound to happen. No doubt there's so much more that I want to nurture into this baby, to watch you fall and learn to walk, to see you grow up and stand tall. But the time has come, for me to move on and so I will. I miss every moment spent with you. It's so hard to let go. It's so hard to leave you in the arms of some other. I don't know what your future holds, where you will go from here. Will you conquer lands? Will you kill giants with slingshots? Will you love the ones in need? Will you feed the hungry and shelter the homeless? All my hopes and dreams for you, I wish you knew. I believe in you to do great thing, to love God and to love man. Your future is unclear to me but I know that you're well taken care of by Abba in Heaven.
"So I thank You Abba for giving me the gift of this baby. It has been tough but I know it's going to be worth it. Where You'll lead me next, the doors that You will open, the adventures that You'll take me through, I'm looking forward to it. So God, this is my desire to be use by You."

I thank God for bringing each of you to me.

The people I really grew spiritually with.

"Through ups and downs we managed to stay through and of cos pulled through. So I thank you for running this race with me. I salute you for your perseverance in not giving up on me and them"

"Though I've passed you to the hands of another, I still love you and please know that I always will. I hope one day you will be part of the hopes and dreams that I had for you or maybe even more. You're in Greater Hands than mine, and I know that for sure"

Letting go

2006-11-29T02:50:00.000+08:00

I know I have to let go

I want to let go

It's about time I let go

But...

I can't let go

It's so hard to let go

How can I let go?

Why do I have to let go?

There's so many things that I still want to do

There's so many things that I still want to believe in

There's so many things that I desire for it to happen

But...

Time is catching up

Even faster than I expected

The question remain

Was it all worth it?

Will it all be worth it?

I know I have to let go

I want to let go

It's about time I let go

But...

I can't let go

It's so hard to let go

How can I let go?

Why do I have to let go?

I know the answer

To let go...

then

I can move on

But...

Is this really what I want?

Is this really what God wants?

I wish I knew the answer

To the question that I often ask

huggies

2006-11-24T12:35:00.000+08:00

THE POWER OF HUGGING

Hugging accomplishes many things that you may never have thought of. It ...

- feels good *yea it certainly does*
- dispels loneliness
- overcomes fear *assurance of support*
- opens doors to feelings
- builds self-esteem (WOW, SHE actually wants to hug me!)
- fosters altruism (I can't believe it but I actually want to hug that old son-of-a-gun)
- slows down aging (huggers stay young longer) *oh really?*
- helps curb appetite (we eat less when we are nourished by hugs and when our arms are busy wrapped around others) *dieting method?*

More Good Things from Hugging :-
- eases tension
- fights insomnia
- keeps arms and shoulder muscles in condition
- provides stretching exercise if you are short *does hugging make me grow taller?*
- provides stooping exercise if you are tall
- offers a wholesome alternative to promiscuity
- offers a healthy, safe alternative to alcohol and other drug abuse (better hugs than drugs!)
- affirms physical being *support*
- is democratic (anyone is eligible for a hug)

Even More Benefits from Hugging :-

- is ecologically sound (it does not upset the environment)
- is energy-efficient (saves heat)
- is portable *haha*
- requires no special equipment
- demands no special setting (a fine place for a hug is any place from a doorstep to an executive conference room ... from a church parlor to a football field)
- makes happy days happier
- imparts feelings of belonging
- fills up empty places in our lives
- keeps on working to dispense benefits even after the hug is released

~give someone a hug today..*wink*~

p/s- hugs for you dearie. I know things have been rough lately, but I know that you'll make it through. It is always good to see you smile again... =)
*hugs you tightly*

L for Lepak

2006-10-06T23:51:00.000+08:00

Finally, I get to 'lepak' and i mean really lepak after a whole semester. This semester felt super long. Even though I still have 1 more exam paper and MUET exam to sit for, I kind of feel so free already. If you're wondering why, that's because I'm a multimedia designing student. Therefore, my results are course base and not exam base. What made things even better is I've just submited my last photography assignment last Wednesday, which is like a phew~ of relieve. That subject caused me countless worries and sleepless night. With a lecturer that can make my stress level rise to the max, I'm so glad I'm done and over with it. So now..... I still have my DSLR.. wat am I going to do with it? ( No way I'm not giving it to you...=P)

After so long, I finally had a movie marathon with Heidi yesterday. We watch Wicker Park, Crash, Click and 3 episodes of How I met your mother. Chern Liang join in the movie marathon for Crash and Click. It was fun. I miss watching tv. I totally enjoy doing nothing....... ~Weeeeeeee

I always knew back behind my head that people nowadays enjoy a different kind of lifestyle- smoking, clubbing, sleeping around, drinking, vulgarity, pornography, wild nightlife. Everything become such a norm, that it makes you a freak and a boring person for not practising this lifestyle. I always knew, but all these really hit me for real when I found out that people I know were living this kind of lifestyle, when I say people I know I mean people who I least expect. Call me naive for having such a big reaction about this. Looks can be so deceiving. Even the person with the most innocent face could turn out to be not who he or she appears to be. When I found out stuff like these, I find myself sayin 'I can't believe they are doing _____. Now I know that they are_____ kind of people. ' Needless to say, I realised I was judging those people and it all didn't feet right. Of cos I wasn't please with myself. As I was pondering through, I reflected on how Jesus ate with sinners, and ministered to prostitutes. Jesus did not judge, He loved. He was moved with compassion with what he saw. I shouldn't be judging the lifestyle that my friends were living, I should be move with compassion instead. After realising that, I want to not judge them but instead to be move enough to feel the need and urgency to reach out in love to them. It's like my heart should break knowing that those people out there needs Jesus. I don't doubt that those lifestyle can seem really appealing at times. I find myself struggling to stand by the boundaries that I've set as well. Well that only shows that I'm still human..*wink*

Got more to blog on but I gotta sleep already. Going for Wordilicious Investigators tomorrow. So looking forward to it.. :)

Signing off
-tha-

puzzle quizle

2006-09-28T08:32:00.000+08:00

i don't understand how God works.....

God.....

i pray that some day I will.....

Life that breathe

2006-09-08T23:50:00.000+08:00

There are some things in life that will breathe life into us at some point of time. How often we become so comfortable in our so called perfect life and forget about the reality of life. How often we stick closely to our own circle of familiar faces and forget that there are people who cries out for love and acceptence everyday. How often we expect people to live up to our expection and forget that people are still human. How often we put others down to make ourself feel better. How often we overlook little little things in life and forget that great things comes in small packages. How often? Yes. How often? I stand guilty on all of the above.

Someone once told me "everyone has a past". As I reflect on those words, it actually makes more sense to me why people are what they are today. Sometimes I wonder how can one be like this and that, how can one have such attitude, how can one react in such and such a way, how can one have such mindset. But what I've failed to realise is everyone has a past. It might be good, it might be bad. Which ever it is, it builds them to become who they are today. Therefore, before even questioning and falsely judging, I think there is a need to look deeper within before anything should come out of the mouth. After all, everyone is still human with imperfection.

I once heard this statement somewhere. It goes something like "Saying someone is ugly does not make you prettier" or "Saying some one is stupid does not make you smarter". Basically it simply means putting some else down does not make you any better. I personally find this statement really true yet still trying to fully embrace it. When pride and envy exist, I think it has a tendency to drive people to say stupid things that are nothing but to tear life down. Overcoming pride is always one hard lesson to be learn. Sometimes you just scream at it so hard to leave but it just chooses to stay.

What does it really mean to love people?
Time.Comfort.Building.Giving.Accepting.
Caring.Loving.Hugging.Correcting.

Much is taken out of you to love people, YET much is also gain

I think I should stop blogging now. My assignments are calling me....
Signing off cheerious~

-tha-

19 going on .....

2006-08-25T16:08:00.000+08:00

Birthday come...Birthday go...
The older I get, the wiser I become? hmmmm

This year I had to celebrate my birthday in Cyber as it lands on a Monday. A pretty quiet one this time round. I didn't expect to feel emo on my birthday... but I was. ..that feeling that I dislike so much...homesick... cos I couldn't be back home celebrating my birthday with my family, the way I usually do every year. My family actually celebrated for me much earlier than the actual day, but I just couldn't enjoy the moment as I was so grip with stress, worries and fears over my assignment. Nevetherless, I thank God for my friends in Cyber who remembered and celebrated it with me... not forgetting the surprise birthday cake...and the prezzies...
You guys definately made my day. Thank you so very muchy... :)

My prezzies this year:-

Some birthday shoutouts
Happy Buffday!!!!!

*Thank you God for 19 years of faithfulness and many more to come...=)*

Me

2006-08-09T23:55:00.000+08:00

Frail...

Helpless...

Dependant...

The whole process...
Of how i finally came to where I am right now...
The options that I had to give in to...
The sense of fear...
Yet determine and reluctant all at the same time...
To be independant...

Failed...

Disapointed...

Still dependant...

So undeserving...

*a BIG thanks to those who became my pillar to depend on...hugz*

Cantik

2006-05-25T00:21:00.000+08:00

I've been looking at my life, looking at just how blessed I am. The word beautiful kept coming back to me. Yea, beautiful... No other better words to describe it... beautiful...

...the beautiful God who thinks I'm precious

...the beautiful family that I can call my own

...the beautiful things that I see around me

...the beautiful kids and youth that I can invest my life in

...the beautiful people I'm surrounded with

...the beautiful circumstances that I'm in

...the beautiful love that I can experience

...the beautiful love that I can give

...the beautiful way people express their love

When I think about how beautiful all these things really are, I can't help but to smile and be thankful. As I looked at my life, now I see it. I really do.

Check out my precious little ones...

Yea, you got that right, my sunday school kids. It's been long since I last taught Sunday School. I actually forgot how much I love teaching Sunday School and the satisfaction and joy that it brings.I guess I was too busy with other stuff...until now... yes I'm teaching sunday school this month and it has been great. These little ones give me reason to smile in the midst of my circumstances, in the midst of a gone crazy world, in the midst of hurt and disappointment. Looking at them and their simplicity, innocence and pureness at heart just make you fall in love with them. It's just amazing how spending time with them can make you feel as if your problems are all gone. I guess that's a gift that only children possesed. They are just soooooo beautiful. Being with them, never failed to make me smile. I'm so glad that they are part of my life and I am able to invest my life in theirs..... =)

Our Project

Heaven

Artwork of my kids. Children can have a rather creative mind

By the way the name Jacintha also means Beautiful...=)

Jacintha = Beautiful.. hehe

Swimming Lesson

2006-05-11T00:43:00.000+08:00

"Each time I drift away, You will throw me a float and pull me back to safety. But this time round, I drift, and drift, and drift, as if the current were pulling me further, and further from You. I was drowning, yet You allowed it to happen"

*I want you to learn to swim*

I guess sometimes each of us just have to learn to swim. God doesn't throw us a float all the time. Sometimes He leaves us without a float, so that we learn to struggle, stretch, kick, and finally learn how to swim.

I've allowed distractions to creep into my life, and it literally pulled me further and further from God. Somehow, I couldn't find my way home. I just drifted, and drifted away, as if I couldn't come home. I tried, but I failed. My feelings, my thought, my surroudings, my past was bombarding me with all sorts of things. I knew I was drifting, yet I allowed it to happen.

Until now...something happen. I guess it always takes something to happen to bring us back to God. In desperation and in despair when there's no one to turn to, there I find myself running back into the arms of my Father. Even though I'm battling to pulled through, I'm amazed that He use a situation like this to draw me back to Him. I'm glad that at the end of the day, I still remembered that I have a Friend so true who is there for me. No one could understand any better than He does. Even I myself don't understand why. In hurt and disappointment, I proudly say that I'm glad, because I believe that beautiful things is going to come out of this. It's worth the pain and struggle as I begin to learn to swim... :)

p/s- For more pictures of my Alpha trip go to http://heidityj.bravejournal.com

I'm too lazy to upload..haha

Fridays

2006-05-05T11:59:00.000+08:00

It's Friday, and I'm still in Cyber. Staying back in Cyber till friday isn't always my favourite choice. I have a tendency to feel alone on Fridays. I have nothing to do cos I do not have any classes, and so when I have nothing much to keep me occupied, I have the tendency to feel nonsense.

Next week will be study break. But it's gonna be a so called study break for me. This is because I have 3 submissions that week and 1 maths quiz. And the following week I'll be having 4 days of back to back exam. This is so fun right? I wonder how will I do...=p.... after all, all i need is to pass this semester because I've already gotten the major that I wanted. Study Break week can be a pretty scary week as many people usually are not their usual self... Extreme Emo-ness, Extreme Manja-ness, Extreme Reactions... Hope that does not happen to me.

Well my alpha trip to Port Dickson was good. It was relaxing and stress-less. Great bonding session. I gain new friends...got close to some friends. I think I got sunburn too...=(

Not going to blog much about my trip now. Probably on my next post, when I have pictures to show. For an appetizer, here's one pic of me :

Have you ever seen Jacintha in a sack? Now you have..=p

Sampat-ness

2006-05-03T17:48:00.000+08:00

I guess I'm just one boring, simple girl... =p

You Are a White Cotton Bra!

Practical, comfortable, and classic

You want your man to feel relaxed and himself with you

Your perfect guy is low maintenance and adaptable

And he makes you feel comfy and cozy too!

What Kind of Bra Are You?

You Are Basic Panties

You are a laid back chick with a real natural beauty.

You can make unwashed hair and minimal make-up super sexy.

Men tend to notice you show the "real you" - and they appreciate it.

And while basic makes boring for some, it looks classic on you.

What Kind of Panties Are You?

Pixie

2006-04-25T16:44:00.000+08:00

Easter Event Pixie

Marina (Me) and Kelly (Celine)

Vincent (Jason) and Kelly (Celine)

Danielle (Audrey)

Joe (John) and Marina (Me)

Kevin (Daniel)

Me again

The awesome dancers (Audrey, Esther, Rachel, Ming Chu, Siew Wee, Beatrice and Kelly)

The Band

The Cast

Jowen and I

The banner my youth made for me. If you can't read it, it says

"JAC UR D Best! We love U- JCX^3" ...awwwww

Me with pick-up-sticks on BBQ Nite

Detached

2006-04-10T17:55:00.000+08:00

I'm feeling detached from my world...
I think I should go home...
Embraced me with open arms...
Bring life back into my soul...

COME HOME RUNNING

by Chris Tomlin

Oh heart of mine,

Why must you stray?

From one so fair you run away

And one more time you have to pay

The heaviness of needless shame

Oh heart of mine,

Come back home

You've been too long out on your own

And He's been there all along

Watching for you down the road

So come home running

His arms are open wide

His name is Jesus

He understands

He is the answer

You are looking for

So come home running

Just as you are

Oh child of God

So dearly loved

And ransomed by the Savior's blood

And called by name, "daughter" and "son"

Wrapped in the robe of righteousness

nil

2006-04-10T00:52:00.000+08:00

Where is the passion?
Where is the fire?
Where is the heart?
Have I lose them?

Why don't I believe?
Why don't I expect?
Why don't I rejoice?
Why do I feel nothing?
And nothing is all I feel?

Does what I feel matters in the first place?
Don't feelings changes like the wind?
One minute I'm here, One minute I'm there
Am I that looking forward to moving on?

Have I given up believing?
Have I given up clinging?
Have I given up hope?
Have I given up the impossible?
Have I given up that vision?
Have I? Have I? Have I?

In need of a BREAKTHROUGH!

Come through for me God, come through with me

EEeeeeeeeeee

2006-04-05T11:34:00.000+08:00

Easter Event Night Event was AWESOME......Yay! During full rehearsals, the flow of the whole play was still in a mess. But the real thing ROCKS man...hehe... *2 thumbs up*... The cast were all really into their character, right facial expression (no sudden smiling Jason), right hand gestures, right dialogues...ummm... well not all the right dialogues, but I guess we covered it well... the dancers were great, the band excellent, the ushers super duper professional and hospitable, the backstage people, sound people, lighting people and the video people were all swift at their role and not forgetting the EE committees...~Weeee

*Good job!! I'm so proud of you guys.*

My family came to watch the PLAY( my dad, my mum, my sista and my future bro-in-law)~Weeeee.... I'm glad that I am able to do something that they can actually be proud of. My sister sms me that night saying that she was proud of me...*wipes tears* But I know for sure that they would still be very proud of me with or without the PLAY. Not forgetting, my youth leaders( Gary and Jackie), my youths (Desmond, Jasmine, Lawrence and Belinda) and of cos Aunty Serena and Aunty Susan. Guess wat, they made me a banner with my name on it....awwwww... that's so sweet. It wasn't the nicest banner of all, but it meant so much to me... I'm just sooooo blessed.

* Thank you so much for coming and supporting*

I also managed to meet some people from Malacca campus that night. I'm looking forward to IF Camp...~Weeee

Being a part of Easter Event has been an amazing journey for me, from being in the planning committee to one of the cast of the PLAY. I was busy, really busy juggling between my church ministries, Easter Event and my assignments and tired, absolutely tired, but it was all worth while. I realised that EE has helped me bond closer with people-my EE committees, my other cast, my CF people. I've grow to love and respect some of them even more. The values that they hold on to, their priorities in life and their commitment towards God has really been and inspiration to me. I'm so glad that God has surrounded me with people who builds my life and believed in me. This journey has thought me to love people and give more. I'm no longer the 'Marina' that I was acting as in the PLAY. I've learned more on the art of giving, to give more out of myself. I'm going to miss all the EE meetings and drama practices... =(

Well today, I'm filled with gratefulness. That's the first thing that came to me when I woke up. I'm just so blessed. So undeserving, yet my Papa in Heaven chose to give. I cannot understand why, and I cannot contain it anymore. It's like countless overflowing blessings that I don't deserve. He is so gracious to give to a person like me. Why God? Why? I cannot understand.

Thank You for laying Your life down for me