Beauty in Brokeness

Another 3 weeks of holiday have gone by. How do i rate it...ummm... 7 maybe... Managed to do some stuff that I don't usually get to do during sems. Well I tried baking once again, this time round some turn out better than before and some turn out worst than before... what to do, guess I memang tak ada skills at this...sigh... Anyway it was just to pass time, and my family became the guinea pigs of my 'product'. I got some beauty sleep, yeah slept like a baby. Oh yeah not forgetting watch some DVD's too- Perhaps Love, The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants, The Barber Shop, Herbie, Mr and Mrs Smith and I completed my Desperate Housewives...yay..finally!! After so long I'm glad I finally lay my hands on the piano again this holiday. Guess I was just so busy or maybe lazy to practise... that's why a little karat already. Need to brush up. Playing for Chinese Service in church today was good. I don't know why I really like serving in the Chinese Department. It's not like I understand much Chinese and not like my piano skills are super good, but I guess it's because I see the need in the Chinese Department and their lack, and I feel satisfied just to give, even with the little that I have. This holiday I also made myself practise Photoshop. This is what I managed to produce - My Own Wallpaper. Yeah it's a little girly and childish, but who cares as long as I like it and I'm satisfied with it...haha..

The last week of my holiday was a pretty emotional one. Had so many emotional breakdowns till I can't remember how many. But I'm really glad that it's time like these that I really really spend quality time with God, being desperate and transparent before Him. I like this two sentecnce, created by yours truly...inspired maybe..haha

He looked beyond my eyes, and saw by tears

He looked beyond my smile, and saw my brokeness

That's what I am broken on the inside...bundle up with past hurts, failures, disappointments... things that I didn't know had left a scar on my heart because I think I never really dealt with them, just took the easy way out, not thinking about it and moving on with life. But I guess there will come a point of time where all these will be thrown back at you if they're left undealt. I feel that God is doing an inner healing in my brokeness. And now I realised something, despite being transparent with God, admiting my brokeness and frailty, the hurts, failures and disappointment doesn't disappear immediately , it is something that happens gradually. And the beauty of it comes in the process of that healing till its completion. God has been showing, teaching, and correcting me. Experincing changes in my life now, and I believe that God is at work, not immediate changes but the process of it is just beautiful. I'm thankful, simply thankful to God.

God saw my brokeness and made it His

I love You Jesus