Burn!

BURN!!! Exactly what I’ve been feeling lately… Burn!! Been so busy to even have time to do stuff that I really want to do. Assignments and too many responsibilities are crushing me down. Tired….. just tired…. Physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally. Need a release real soon or else I am going break…badly.
I went for care group last week and the topic that we discussed on is ‘how can we manage being a busy Christian and being a busy student?’ I learn something that day. There’s this guy, Kenny who actually said something that really gotten me thinking. He said something like this, ‘I wouldn’t define serving God as being busy, because it should comes naturally.’ This really gotten me thinking. Right at this moment, due to the weight of assignments and commitment required out of me, I do feel that serving God has become a burden to me. What Kenny said sot of sunk into me, serving God shouldn’t be a burden to me, it SHOULDN’T. And if it has, it’s really time to check my life. I can’t believe that I’m actually feeling this way. It’s like so much things are required and expected out of me each week, whether it’s in my studies or in church. I personally feel it’s time to reorganize my life.


Please help me God. Give me Your strength. My heart cries in desperation and I know that You will listen to my heart, the way You did before, although I remain silent.

In the mood for PicTures

Just decided to place some pictures on my blog, Just for the fun of it and for the sake of those who just came to know me....=)



Ever wonder how Jacintha look like as a baby??? Look and tell....






And Jacintha grew into a kiddo

Don't I look cute? But if you're wondering when i took this picture, it's actually a recent one. Got you deceive by my small girl look ya, plus the two pig tails I had on....haha... You must be wondering why in the world would a 18 year old girl dress up as a 12 year old kiddo. Hmmm.... just reliving my childhood. Nolar, that's not true. Well actually we had this 'dress up' thingy for youth service and so I decided to come as a kiddo. People often say I don't look my age. I would probally have to agree that's true lor....sigh..... wonder is that a good thing or bad?

FastForward...........Then Jacintha bloom into a young lady

Who say I can't look my age??

No I wasn't going for prom, people always get that wrong. I was going for a company dinner organised by the company I was working in during the holidays. I'm all dress nicely to look and feel good and not because I want to catch attention...haha

The people Jacintha grew spiritually with.....

What is my heartbeat?

'MISSION, de Heartbeat of God'
CF was really great today. Everything just flowed well. It made me reflect back on some things that I've always desired to do. Looking back, I'm reminded of the things that brought great satisfaction to me, the best that I've ever experienced as far as I can remember. It has always been a dream that God has impressed on my heart to reach out to those who are in need, whether by a helping hand, emotionally, or spiritually. The satisfaction in doing that is just indescribable, and that is when I actually realized that would be my ministry. However as time passes, all these burden for reaching out to people who are in need seems to fade away, little by little. I'm reminded today once again of what was my dream, and the satisfaction that I've felt. At this point of time, just really want to do what I feel God has been wanting me to do. I wonder if I could get back the passion the way I used to have...the love for people the way I used to have...

I still have Africa in my heart. I just wanted to reach out to children who are suffering with HIV there.... But we'll see if God brings this to pass.....*hopeful*

p/s- Just a note to CF Committees : I think you guys are doing a really good job. Keep it up. Your rewards will come from above...=)

Generate Power...Pray

I’ve been feeling so much better these days. Less discourage, really hopeful and looking forward for the great plans that God has in mind. Still waiting for that timing, the right timing, the perfect timing, God’s timing….

What’s new bout me? Well I’m in the EE Committee, which also stands for Easter Event in my CF. It’s gonna be a really good experience for me to learn and grow at the same time. I do wonder in my heart at times whether do I actually have the time to be committed to another event. After a lot of effort and time that has been required out of me in serving in my youth committee back in church and my course assignments, I really wonder if I’ll ever get burn out by so many things. But it’s a challenge, a real challenge to me to serve wherever God places me. Often times, people think that they are doing God a favor. But we failed to realize that in the first place, God doesn’t need us. He is Almighty, why would He need someone so insignificant like us to perform out His plan. But because of His grace, He gives us opportunities to serve Him to repay Him in the minimal form for all that He has done for us. If we really look and see, whatever we do, how much we strive for Him is actually nothing much compared to what He has done for us.

Nothing really special happened on my birthday. My family and I went for a Vietnamese meal the day before my actual birthday. On my birthday, I spend most of the time in church. It was basically just a normal, usual Sunday. Then in the evening, I went back to Cyber to have dinner with Wee Liem, Jia Wern, Desmond, and Joash. The whole reason of the event is to celebrate our (me, Wee Liem, Jia Wern, Desmond) birthdays. Sounds pretty weird right, we’re celebrating birthday for ourselves, but it was kind of cool. Got to spend some quality time with them and hear them talk about their obsession with cars…Hotwheels…

-Anyway thank you guys for celebrating it with me. You guys remembered, I’m so touch… =) *bearhugz*-

And as for Heidi, Emerson and Jason:

Thank you so much for being great friends in my life. Didn't expect to gain such close and good friends in such a short time. Thank you for adding colours into my life. And a Big Thank you for the shirt you guys got me for my birthday with the price tag on it...haha

Legal

Happy Birthday to Me!!

WOOHOO.... I'm legal to go to jail..... :)

-Have FUN Jacintha-

Homesick

I’m home again. Thanks to the bad haze condition, the president of MMU decided to give us 2 days leave. So here I am, back home early. This time I’m really glad to be home. Been a little frustrated these days, just felt pretty alone. I really needed to be in the comfort of home right now. It’s not that I’m so pampered that I get home sick all the time. But it’s just that I feel safe when I’m back home, with my family standing by me. When things are bad and I feel that I have to deal with it all alone, not knowing how to resolve matters myself, that’s when I really feel homesick. Can actually consider as being emo as well lor…
God is just great. He has given me holidays at the right time, just when I needed it most.

Thanks to the haze, now i'm a little sick...sigh....

Back 2 Uni

So I’ve been home for a week, really glad to be in the comfort of home. I went for consultation today on my assignment; as usual it got rejected AGAIN!!! I guess I should be immune to the word ‘Rejection’ by now. I got my PC already…FINALLY!!! I’m so thankful that my parents are willing to come all the way yesterday to set up the computer for me. I don’t know what I would have done without them.

I’m discouraged. Every time when I get pump up and all excited, people just have to kill that excitement. It’s always hard to fight a battle alone, even though I know that I have God on my side. I guess the strongest and toughest person also needs people to support them through. But I wonder why I always seem to fight the battle alone. I wondered if I’ve place God out of the picture and fight with my own strength, I wonder……

Despite all these, I find myself growing, growing into a much stronger person, a person striving hard to pursue my goals, my dream, my hope… It’s amazing how by the grace and strength of God I’m able to pick myself up every time my spiritual life steps on rocky ground. I’m not saying that I don’t need people in my life. The truth is I do, and I really want people who would be pillars of strength to support me through. And in times like these, where I find myself fighting alone, and having the strength to pick myself up despite my circumstances, I find myself growing to trust in the plans of God and His timing and not just choose to give in to circumstances. Behind the discouragement that I feel right now, I still find the strength to persevere believing that something great is going to happen. I’m not going to give in to the feeling and thoughts that tells me to give up.
So I guess I’m just gonna persevere through and see where God brings me, after all God is still my ‘Surprise Giver’. He is just full of surprises and well you just never know what He will do. Just gonna let Him blow my mind away. I’m starting to see sparks of little great things happening already although I never really notice it before.

Thank You Jesus!

Fight!

Weeee…... I’m on holiday!!! But I’m stuck with assignments….sigh…
Anyhow is always good to be home…=)
We had Masquerade last week for CF. It was really cool, my first masquerade ever. I decided to come as a Gipsy, but I wonder if I did succeeded looking like one. Most of the CF people came as pretty interesting character, naming a few, a soldier, a mobster, a farmer, an FBI agent, a nerd, a Mak Cik, A FOM student, blah blah blah…..


The purpose of this activity is to show that people have the tendency to live a double personality. Bro Colin, a graduated senior from MMU, shared a good and applicable message that night. I learn something that day. I learn that we should not expect people to change, but we should accept people the way they are. People come in different forms, with different character, different appearance, different personality and different needs. I learn that no matter how a person is, whether good or bad, ugly or beautiful, no matter how different they are from me I should still extend my hand to them, treating them with love and respect. This is because they worth something in the eyes of God that He would be willing to lay down His life for them the way He did for me. So who am I to be judgmental towards others?
A sinner unworthy to be saved….That’s me….

~Everyone WORTH something in De Eyes of GOD~

Right now, I feel that my spiritual life is kind of deteriorating. I guess a monotonous Christian walk is bringing me down. When I expect God to work, and nothing happens, that’s disappointing. I know that God’s timing is always perfect, and I’ve been reminded many times to wait upon God’s timing, but right now I find it so hard to wait upon His timing, cause I feel as if everything remains the same after so long of praying, trying and expecting, just tired, feel like giving up. Really, really want to get back that excitement towards the things of God the way I used to have. I’m fighting, fighting hard for my spiritual life, not going to give in to this feeling of tiredness.

God I’m fighting,
Give me the strength to fight,
Your strength,
Your love never fails me,
Even when my heart fails you countless times,
I need You,
To restore this Heart of mind,
To be so close to Yours once again,
Fight with me God…..
Please FIGHT with me….